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Well this past Monday I was able to go back to Disneyland for the first time in 2 months due to my annual pass being blocked out. Boy, I had gone thru Disney withdrawl during the time I was unable to go. Monday was my friend "Kari"s birthday so that was the main reason we went to Disneyland. It was me, Kari the birthday girl, and my Natalie. It was somewhat crowded and it didn't help that all of Tomorrowland had a power outage. Talk about the future becoming a reality. But overall, we had a great day.
Well I have been thinking some lately about the reasons why we do certain things in our lives. Like what is the motivation and drive to pursue talents, hobbies, interests, careers, etc.
For example, I have played volleyball since I was in 7th grade. So that has been like going on 9 years now. And not once have I ever played because I was trying to please others. It has always been something that I have done for "me". It's something that I enjoy doing and is an outlet. Something I am decent enough at to have fun while also being competitive.
Something that has changed over time has been music for me and the reasons behind it. I first started playing the guitar when I was 16 and played it because I liked it. It slowly evolved from just for "me" to "me" and "others" as I started writing music and lyrics. I determined how good a song I wrote was by the way other people reacted to it or to my talent. As I have been in a band and written music for it, the way people react to my music really has determined how I feel about it. It doesn't seem like I do it just for "me" anymore, but on the contrary, just for "others".
And so as I have the confidence to perform my music or do covers of different artists, and people react like they don't enjoy it or don't say anything it all, it really makes me not want to do music anymore. I really seem rely on positive feedback to let me know that what I am doing is worthwhile and not just a feeble attempt to be something more than I am. I only enjoy it if other's around me give me that positive support. If not, I feel like I am not good enough or that I am just wasting my time. I have lost the enjoyment factor of just doing it for "me". Hopefully I will find it again someday.
So if I have played guitar for you and sung and you have liked it, tell me so I know I just don't suck at it even though I put a lot of effort into developing these talents. Give me some feedback.
It's important I see that we do things for ourselves in order to really enjoy those activities. If we are able to do that, then it seems like it wouldn't be work, but constant enjoyment of our talents and interests.
Mic check 1, 2. Peace out.
For example, I have played volleyball since I was in 7th grade. So that has been like going on 9 years now. And not once have I ever played because I was trying to please others. It has always been something that I have done for "me". It's something that I enjoy doing and is an outlet. Something I am decent enough at to have fun while also being competitive.
Something that has changed over time has been music for me and the reasons behind it. I first started playing the guitar when I was 16 and played it because I liked it. It slowly evolved from just for "me" to "me" and "others" as I started writing music and lyrics. I determined how good a song I wrote was by the way other people reacted to it or to my talent. As I have been in a band and written music for it, the way people react to my music really has determined how I feel about it. It doesn't seem like I do it just for "me" anymore, but on the contrary, just for "others".
And so as I have the confidence to perform my music or do covers of different artists, and people react like they don't enjoy it or don't say anything it all, it really makes me not want to do music anymore. I really seem rely on positive feedback to let me know that what I am doing is worthwhile and not just a feeble attempt to be something more than I am. I only enjoy it if other's around me give me that positive support. If not, I feel like I am not good enough or that I am just wasting my time. I have lost the enjoyment factor of just doing it for "me". Hopefully I will find it again someday.
So if I have played guitar for you and sung and you have liked it, tell me so I know I just don't suck at it even though I put a lot of effort into developing these talents. Give me some feedback.
It's important I see that we do things for ourselves in order to really enjoy those activities. If we are able to do that, then it seems like it wouldn't be work, but constant enjoyment of our talents and interests.
Mic check 1, 2. Peace out.
Well,
I have never been one really to "blog" ever before. I guess I never got the hype about it but I am willing to give it a shot. It really does have that Doogie Howser feeling to it however. Man that is an old show from back in the day.
Summer school has recently ended and fall semester at Chaffey College starts in 3 weeks. Hopefully finishing up my general ed real soon and to determine a major other than what I am currently declared as - computer science. The thought came to mind early in the week that perhaps I should look into Physical Therapy. I have never really thought about it but it seems like it could be a rewarding career being able to help people. Who knows, but we shall see.
Well I'm off to bed hopefully to find a pleasant tomorrow.
I have never been one really to "blog" ever before. I guess I never got the hype about it but I am willing to give it a shot. It really does have that Doogie Howser feeling to it however. Man that is an old show from back in the day.
Summer school has recently ended and fall semester at Chaffey College starts in 3 weeks. Hopefully finishing up my general ed real soon and to determine a major other than what I am currently declared as - computer science. The thought came to mind early in the week that perhaps I should look into Physical Therapy. I have never really thought about it but it seems like it could be a rewarding career being able to help people. Who knows, but we shall see.
Well I'm off to bed hopefully to find a pleasant tomorrow.
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